When you meet someone online, whether it’s through discussion boards, chat rooms, or personal ads, one of the pitfalls is that you’re at risk of falling HARD for someone before you get a chance to meet in person. Here’s a guest article/rant/warning by Jaylin from Dating Advice Forums…
All you guys can hate me for being the devil’s advocate and for “bursting bubbles” but I’ve been there and I KNOW what I’m talking about. Please be careful with your emotions. Things over the internet can get very intense very quickly and that isn’t always good. I’ve seen a lot of people become completely convinced that the person online is the right one for them only to see them get their hearts broken when the real meeting happens.
You can’t know someone completely over a computer. It’s impossible. However, you can experience real emotions for that person and it hurts just as bad if things don’t work out as losing a real life relationship hurts.
One of the big things that I see happen is that communication breaks down when it’s face to face. People are often quite capable of expressing their thoughts and feelings over irc/email/adultfrienedfinder but can’t translate that to real life. It can be a real problem. So can physical attraction. You can often times have chemistry over the net but be unable to find it in real life.
I don’t want to sour you on the idea, but I’ve been there, done that and seen it happen to a lot of other people. Take your time and keep things in perspective. How someone’s hand feels in yours and the way they kiss can be just as important as how they feel about you. You cannot know if it’s right until you have spent some close up and personal time with someone.
It’s something to think about. Sorry if I sound negative. I just don’t want to see anyone get hurt 🙂
— Jaylin, Aug. 2020
Want to Avoid Heartache?
Avoid the following…
Acting like a couple before you’re a couple – The problem with being involved with someone you don’t see on a regular basis is that you end up “imagining” how they would be in real life. You don’t get exposed to body language — and annoying habits like nose-picking or knuckles cracking.
Wait for that “perfect” moment to meet – Once you realize you’re developing feelings for someone, or even think that you’d really like to get to know this person better, meet as soon as humanly possible! The longer you wait, the more unrealistic expectations you’re going to have.
Cybersex & Cheesecake Shots – Do I really have to explain why this is bad? Well… the cybersex goes along with the whole “building unrealistic expectations.” It’s just fantasy – and in fantasy there’s no sweating, no smells, and no noises. No matter *how* good you are in real life, it’s NOT going to be the same. And sending nude or scantily clad pictures… That’s just 100% TACKY!!! Unless you really *want* those pictures to end up on someone’s amateur porn website some day… Besides, if you cyber and send naked pics, it’s going to be assumed that you’re going to have sex within 15 minutes of meeting. Do you want that kind of reputation (not to mention that kind of pressure)?
The L-Word – Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic after all, but no matter how strongly I felt about someone, I’d want that person to tell me he loves me to my FACE, not in an e-mail or on the phone.